Contents

1. What is language
2. Language - the early stages
3. What will help my child learn to talk?
4. Towards a perfect sentence
5. Good ideas for language learning

3. What will Help My Child Learn to Talk?

Children learn to talk by being allowed to talk. Learning begins at birth, and new born babies start learning to talk in the same way, by being allowed to ‘talk’. Of course, a new born cannot talk in words, but a new born baby whose first full gaze at his mother’s eyes is answered in words with, ‘yes, I’m your mummy’ is being led towards learning to talk.

Parents instinctively talk to their babies about whatever it is that the baby seems to be interested in or is looking at. It is as though the baby’s gaze is saying, ‘let’s talk about that’ and the parent is answering an unspoken question.

Here is a typical example: “What are you looking at now? Oh, you’re looking at the blossom, are you? It’s honeysuckle... Yes it is. It's honeysuckle. And that’s a bumble bee. The bumble bee says buzz, buzz. just look at that big bumble bee.” This can happen over and over again, until one wonderful moment when the baby makes a sound all of his own in the space left by Dad. Suddenly, a conversation is happening.

Conversation — two people taking turns to talk about what they like, what they’ve been doing, what interests them and listening to their friend, is one of the most enjoyable parts of friendship. It’s also enjoyable for children too — and it’s a perfect way for them to practice talking.

However, not all conversations are comfortable! We would begin to feel very ill at ease if we were trying to have a conversation in a foreign language with someone who speaks that language well, and who interrupts, corrects our grammar, laughs at us when we make mistakes and generally made us feel like failures. We would soon shut up. It is easy to make children nervous about talking.

Children trying to express complicated things in a language they are still beginners at need patience and encouragement. Above all, they need to feel confident. As adult speakers, we can play a vital role in giving a child the confidence he needs to practise by making our conversations with children relaxing.

Consider the two following examples of conversation between a child of 3 years and an adult:

The adult in this conversation wants the child to speak and so she asks questions but does not allow the child time to think up his reply before she interrupts with another question or with a correction. The result is that the adult does most of the talking whilst the child’s speech is limited to single words. The adult is clearly in control here and this style of conversation does little to help the child’s language.

The adult in this second conversation is genuinely enjoying the chat. She asks no questions and the child is able to choose which part of his day out to talk about. She allows the child to interrupt her and is following the child’s line of thinking. This is a child who, in being allowed to talk, is being helped to develop his language easily and enjoyably.

Avoiding asking questions when talking to children can sometimes be difficult. If I can’t ask questions, I don’t know what to say!

Try making comments. For example, you’re looking at a book together and there are pictures of children playing in a park. There are swings, several children with their parents and a couple of dogs.

Questions might be:

• How many children can you see?
• What’s that dog doing?
• Do you like going on swings?

Normal questions but not likely to start a conversation, you’ll probably just get a word or two and then it’ll be up to you again

Comments might be:

• I fell off a swing once. I hurt my knee.
• I don’t like dogs, they make a mess everywhere.
• I wish we had a park like that.

Comments like this encourage children to talk. It’s much more like the way adult friends talk. Try it. You’ll be surprised.

• Over the years, many research studies have shown us that there are some things that parents and carers do quite naturally and without thinking which seem to help children learn language and start talking.
• Parents enjoy their children and pay attention to them, often talking to them. They usually talk about what seems to be interesting a child or holding his attention, long before the child can understand what is being said to them.
• When children seem interested in something, or ‘coo’ or ‘gurgle’, parents imagine that their children are speaking to them about it and talk back to them, starting ‘mini conversations’, even with tiny babies.
• Being involved in real conversations with someone who listens to what you say and lets you say what you want, how you want, is the best way to learn language and best for deaf children too!
• Parents hardly ever ignore their children — most ‘conversations’ between children and their parents are started by the children. Children expect parents to listen to them and they do. It gives children confidence that someone in interested in what they say.
• Parents use a special voice for talking to babies. It is a ‘sing-song’ sort of voice which helps children pay attention and listen for longer.
• Parents throughout the world generally don’t interfere with what their children are saying or trying to say. They listen to the sense of what their children are saying and let them work out for themselves how to say it ‘properly’. Young hearing children tend not to have their language corrected. The toddler who says ‘Me wants that’ is usually answered with ‘You want it, do you? Here you are, then, catch!’ so they are given the right words but not corrected. Correction and teaching do not help a child’s language development; in fact they have been shown to slow it down. Talking naturally to your child is what will help.
• Children are allowed to speak when they feel ready and are not put under pressure to perform. They are not hurried, and are given plenty of time to think about what they want to say, and a in the conversation to fill if they want to.
• Children are allowed to choose what they want to talk about, and adults follow the child’s shifting attention willingly.

next: 4. Towards a perfect sentence